The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives celebrity Jessi Ngatikaura shared some shocking revelations regarding her spouse Jordan Ngatikaura, like how he used blackmail against her after she had an affair, their on-screen deceptions, and other details.
During the Wednesday, November 19, installment of “The Viall Files” podcast, Jessi, 33, discussed her relationship with Jordan, revealing she had experienced similar instances of emotional abuse during her first marriage.
“My reaction is being accustomed to being shouted at. I recall when I was initially married, there were truly challenging times,” Jessi stated in reference to her former husband, Zach. “He was extremely emotionally abusive —more so than Jordan, if I’m being candid.”
She went on to say, “Jordan exhibits [emotional abuse] uniquely, but I had previously encountered worse. Hence, I considered it a normal part of marriage that is just difficult. It was at least not as terrible as my first one. But with time, it deteriorated to the point where it was equally as bad.”
Season 3, which premiered on Thursday, November 13, featured Jessi’s admission of a two-week emotional relationship with Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette. She also discussed the emotional abuse she endured from Jordan and how they managed to find a path to reconciliation on the show.
However, Jessi’s podcast appearance on Wednesday presented a different viewpoint, as she discussed what was omitted, her dishonesty on camera, and the true extent of the issues in her relationship with Jordan. Continue scrolling to discover her most significant revelations:
A Previous Marriage Before Jordan
“We both had previous marriages. Jordan had been in a long-term relationship following his first marriage, maintaining an on-and-off relationship with a girlfriend for three to four years. I was married for five years,” Jessi remembered. “Jordan was ending his relationship with that four-year girlfriend around the same time I was separating from my husband, and he had been divorced since he was 18.”
Jessi and Jordan became acquainted at a gathering through common acquaintances.
My husband even attended some of [these group dinners] with me. At one of the dinner gatherings shortly after my separation, I arrived solo, and Jordan inquired, ‘Where’s your husband?’ I responded, ‘We’ve separated and are in the process of divorcing,’” she continued. “He then shared, ‘My girlfriend and I broke up just last week.’ So we sat and talked for hours about our respective breakups, connecting over our shared experiences. A week or two later, he asked me out, and I accepted.”
Jessi added, “I was navigating my divorce while in a relationship with Jordan, which was not advisable. I definitely moved on too quickly. However, at the time, I felt as though I was probably seeking a distraction and something to alleviate the pain of the divorce.”
Similarities to Her Initial Marriage
Jessi went through emotional abuse not only during her first marriage, but also during her relationship with Jordan.
She pointed out, “I did not recover from my emotionally abusive first marriage, and I entered a second one that mirrored the same behaviors. A significant reason I am where I am today is because I did not recover, which allowed the same circumstances to recur.”
However, Jessi clarified that Jordan and Zach were distinct individuals.
“[My first husband is] an exemplary Mormon, so I believed I was selecting the secure option. He came from a decent family, and they were churchgoers. He had completed a mission and was wonderful for the first few years,” she stated. “Subsequently, he began using drugs and ceased working. Things deteriorated rapidly, and he developed considerable anger issues.”
She went on to say, “But I emerged from that marriage wounded as a result, and I carried numerous scars into my current marriage. History has since repeated itself, so I am now addressing the recovery from both experiences.”
Jessi then elaborated on the religious ramifications of her initial marriage. Although she no longer practices Mormonism, Jessi mentioned that she is still “sealed” to her ex-husband in the church, and they have denied her request to have it lifted.
While her former spouse has remarried and is sealed to his present wife, Jessi’s requests have been rejected. She alluded to “religious trauma” as a contributing factor to certain challenges in her personal life.
What Sparked Problems With Jordan
“From what I could tell, the more prosperous I became, the more Jordan may have [felt] somewhat insecure because he wasn’t the provider,” she stated. “Men occasionally struggle with that, especially within Mormon culture. Despite his lack of Mormon affiliation, growing up in that community instills a specific way of thinking.”
Jessi stated that her role as the primary earner was “intimidating” for her spouse, adding, “Jordan ultimately left his work and lacked a sense of direction. I believe that greatly influenced his treatment of me.” (Jessi also mentioned on the podcast that her hair care company, JZ Styles, enabled her to become “a multimillionaire within a few years.”)
Forewarning Indicators
Reflecting on the beginning of her marriage, Jessi realized she didn’t pose “the appropriate inquiries” to Jordan.
“I acted so rapidly, literally using [our relationship] as a short-term solution. So, I wish I had allocated more time,” she expressed. “For instance, I separated from my husband in September, and Jordan and I were married by March. It happened so rapidly. I am very impulsive.”
Jessi stated that “everyone” in her life noticed how Jordan treated her in season 3, adding, “The most challenging aspect for me presently is that no one in my life appreciates Jordan. They have all observed his treatment of me, and everyone maintains a distance from him. Overcoming that obstacle is incredibly difficult.”
Modifying Her Surname
Jessi verified that her choice to use Draper instead of Ngatikaura as her last name had no connection to her marital situation. She cited pronunciation difficulties and branding considerations as the reasons she publicly chose to discontinue using Ngatikaura.
The True Series of Occurrences
Jessi Ngatikaura, Marciano Brunette, and Jordan Ngatikaura Disney; Getty Images (2)
Despite the way it was depicted on the show, Jessi and Jordan were still together when he learned about Marciano.
“The reason I left was that we had been privately dealing with the affair for about six months. No one was aware. Throughout those six months, it deteriorated more than ever before. He was blackmailing me and threatening to distribute my messages to Marciano and the rest of the world,” she asserted, noting that while it was mentioned on the show, it didn’t make it into the final cut. “Whenever I did something he disagreed with, he had it saved as drafts on his TikTok account and threatened to post it.”
Jessi went on to say, “It was incredibly toxic. I remember the day I left him; it escalated to the point where he was filming me, taunting me, and I was chasing him around the house. We were simply shouting at each other. It was really awful.”
Jessi confirmed that she was still living with Jordan when her relationship with Marciano started.
“While Jordan and I were handling this privately, he stated to me, ‘If anyone ever discovers this, we need to say we were separated because it makes it less significant.’ I remember Jordan instructing me to handle it this way if anyone found out,” she recalled. “He ended up saying, ‘If this is going to come out, we have to be honest.’”
The couple wanted to avoid “sticking to a lie and getting caught” in it.
The Most Detrimental Facets of Their Relationship
